Well hello there!
I’m guessing you want to know a little bit more about me? o.k. – I get that 🙂
I am Tara D McLeod and on my ehemm -cough – ehemm – ??rd birthday, I set an intention to transparently live my best life by falling absolutely in love with myself, healing from past trauma, changing / letting go of negative relationship patterns and authentically embodying the true meaning of SELF LOVE!
Life hasn’t been a cake walk. In fact, there’s been a lot of twists, turns and an ocean of tears.
I spent many years in a, severely co-dependent, on again – off again relationship that was riddled with immaturity, recklessness and with a person, I believe, has narcissistic personality traits.
Being in that relationship, left me feeling completely drained, fatigued, confused and I even contemplated suicide at one point.
However, things didn’t start out that way. In fact, I was head over heals at first. I thought for sure this man was my soulmate; but in a short time, things morphed into something I didn’t see coming.
I was CONSTANTLY reminded that “other women would kill” to be with a man who “gives you as much as I do”.
I was made to feel jealous and insecure by his CONSTANT comparison of me to other women.
I was REPEATEDLY told that “you should know how to keep a man happy” and that “I shouldn’t have to tell you how to do this…”.
Even though, I endured this type of emotional abuse, the issue wasn’t just what he was doing. It was more about what I was allowing, what I accepted and WHY.
Because of my lack of self esteem and self worth, I tolerated being treated this way. I allowed myself to stay in this relationship because I believed his gestures of generosity and the comforts that came along with being in a “committed” relationship outweighed the way I was really feeling on the inside. I now understand that everything he did “for me” wasn’t really for me at all. It was all about control.
I became obsessed with trying to feel like I was enough for him. The focus on pleasing HIM and making HIM happy became my number one priority to the point where I didn’t even recognize the vibrant, energetic and fun loving person I use to be. On the outside it looked like I had it all together, but on the inside I was a whole hot mess! I was pretending to be someone I was not.
After many years, I would come to realize that my lack of self esteem and lack of self worth would almost cost me my life.
I was angry with him, but MOSTLY with MYSELF because I didn’t have the courage to walk away or face my truth.
Today my life looks completely different than it did then. I understand the reasons I stayed in that relationship and God revealed its purpose in my life. After reading, what Ross Rosenburg, the author of The Human Magnet Syndrome describes as a “self- love deficit ™”, I discovered that my self worth issues started way before I ever entered into a romantic relationship. This relationship was merely a mirror reflection of what was really going on inside of me.
For example, I often over committed myself to people, events and things when I knew I had to much on my plate.
I would say yes to requests, when I really wanted to say no.
The people pleaser in me would always override my ability to establish a healthy boundary.
I would always minimize or suppress how I was truly feeling inside to make other people feel good about themselves. I compromised my own values to avoid angering people and I would end up mad and angry with them and with myself.
The pain of that relationship was a wake up call, for me, to begin shifting from a victim to victor.
The turning point, for me, is when I realized and ACCEPTED my desire to have a loving partnership, a thriving business and to be a wife was not going to happen with the same mindset or living with the codependent patterns I relied upon through out those years.
With some help from a therapist and a life coach, I began to Do The Work on my (WHOLE) self; spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. I learned the valuable lessons of self acceptance, forgiveness and most importantly SELF LOVE!
So, after years of complaining on calls with my best friend, having it out with GOD, snottin’ on my mama’s lap, and paying for lots of therapy, I finally had an epiphany! I did the thing I had the power to do all along.
I chose me!
And now… I get to serve women who are READY to move on, take control of their life, turn their pain into power, ask for what they need, get what they want and choose to love THEMSELVES first before they enter into another soul sucking relationship!
If you are ready and fully committed to transforming your pain into power, learning how to love your WHOLE self and creating a life and relationship you love, click that little blue link below and allow me to serve you.
Until Meet Again, Enjoy This Beautiful Poem By ~ Samsara
The Day The Caterpillar Woke Up.
And the other caterpillars said:
“You look funny.” “You’re Acting Strangely.” “Why are you so bright?”
The former caterpillar said:
“I’m a butterfly now. I cannot crawl anymore. Now I have to fly.”
The other caterpillars said:
“You are not a butterfly!” “You’re a caterpillar!” “You cannot fly!”
The butterfly responded, “Let my wings serve as hope for you.”
And she flew away. Like butterflies do.