The 5 Habits of Strong Women
Eliminates Toxic Relationships and Set Boundaries:
A perfect example of this is a story that Dr. Maya Angelou tells, about a party she was having at her home. A man was there who’d made some sort of offensive joke. It was obviously an uncomfortable moment. So what she did was (in noticing the shift in the energy that joke had made in her home and among her guests) quickly usher the man to the door, had him to leave and then she came back to her guest and sat down. In the interview, she went on to say that “the negative has power and that it lives and if we let it perch on our soul we will become it.” Therefore, she decided that whenever she hears something hateful or rude – she says “take that out of my house.”
“Strong women know the difference between being nice and being kind. Nice is people-pleasing and passive, but kind is taking action and peacemaking”. ~ Glennon Doyle Melton
Shows Up Before She’s Ready:
All human beings have two jobs. 1. Follow your dreams and 2. Serve your brothers and sisters, but we make up a third job and that is to become perfect first.” So what that looks like is, “I will show up when I lose 10lbs”, “I will leave this relationship that’s making me sick when the time is right”, “I’ll start that business when I have enough money”,” I’ll start writing that book when I have time”… and it just becomes all about the when. It’s just a little hiding place you create for yourself. You stay stuck in a self – improvement class and use the excuse as a way to not get started. Most successful women have no idea what they’re doing; however, what they know for sure is that you can only do the next best thing ONE AT A TIME”.
Anytime is the right time to do something new…
~ Tara D McLeod
Carves Out Quiet Time For Themselves Everyday:
My sister often tells me how she has the best ideas, aha moments and revelations when she’s in the shower or bathtub. There is something spiritual about being around water for her, me and many other women I know. I believe it’s the getting still and listening that ushers in clarity. This stillness allows the wisdom to come through. You don’t need a lot of time. Everyone can carve out at least 10 minutes to be still and listen for wisdom to come through. You can create a small space like a corner with pillows, candles, a blanket, a book, your bible… The quiet drowns out all the noise and all of the well-intended advice you receive from family and friends. Growth happens in stillness. Fear comes up in stillness. Anger comes up in stillness, but you learn to feel it, let it go and move through it.
The quieter you become, the more you can hear. ~ Ram Dass
A lot of us feel that if another woman has more, then that must mean I have less or vice versa. There’s a scarcity mentality that shows up and causes us to compete and compare with one another. However the belief in abundance means that there is a belief that there is more than enough for everyone. There’s enough for you and enough for me. There’s enough money, attention… and love to go around. Scarcity, on the other hand and for example, looks like a pie. Say your sister received a big slice of that pie. Naturally you would think that means there’s less for you. Scarcity mindset is a breeding ground for competition and comparison. Now if there were only one pie, that would make a lot of sense – right? Recently I committed to a year-long business coaching program with Rosetta Thurman of Happy Black Woman – in the Happy Black Woman Mastermind. There are about 20 brilliant and bright women all taking inspired action and focusing their intention on creating a business and life they love so they can live life on their own terms. A part of this program requires you to show up for yourself. Do your work and share your work and ideas within the community. The thing is, you see all these women being courageous, sharing their wins, making progress and while you are doing so as well, scarcity mentality can creep in IF you find yourself forgetting the principles of an abundant mindset. You’ll say things to yourself like “I should have wrote that” or “I should have created one of those”… It can be a secret struggle from time to time. I believe it was Oprah Winfrey who said that the reason women, in particularly, struggle with scarcity is because any group of people who have been suppressed in some way has more feelings of scarcity within it.
“Insecure women mask their insecurity by tearing another woman down. Wise woman mask their insecurity by building that woman up. It’s understandable to want to fight for a bigger piece of the pie, but it’s admirable to fight for a bigger pie”. ~ Glennon Doyle Melton
Knows Who She “Be”
Most women place so much emphasis on our role as wife, mother and/or career woman. I can recall on many occasions being asked to “tell me a little bit about yourself” and without fail; I’d go right to my stock answer of “Well I’m a mother of two wonderful children” and yada yada yada… We all have done it. We will tell you who we love, who we serve and what we “do”. It’s both a beautiful and dangerous thing. What I mean by that is, if you mostly identify yourself as being a mother – what happens to YOU when they leave the nest. If you identify yourself as a wife, who are YOU if your husband leaves? The job lets you go, who are YOU then?
“Discover what your soul loves and you’ll discover who you are”.
What are the habits that keep you strong?
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Tara D McLeod, The Comeback Queen